Come Join Me

I'm back everyone! I've never felt such sadness and emptiness upon my return. Surprising as I wasn't too sure that I even wanted to go. I walk into my front door, after being locked out for two hours; all my house mates have left for the holidays so it's just me and a very silent house for a couple of nights.  I'd lived out of one badly packed suitcase (I really need to evaluate what I pack next time) and now look at my room and think what do I need all this stuff for? (I don't even have that much)- No I'm not going to give up all my possessions and leave. Ill condense it then leave.   LA was not filled with the excitement that I had expected but when it came to my last week I felt I could have stayed. What LA does have, amongst the homelessness that fills it in certain areas, is the chance of opportunity in the professional field. Everyone you meet is interested in what you do (whether it's to benefit them or not) they are willing to take you...

All checked in now having breakfast and waiting to go. I spent the day before packing, like ALL day packing, unpacking, repacking, unpacking again and repacking. I almost cried. Never before had i struggled on what to take. Having a mental list of what i wanted to take. Priorities First, my shoes. Dance shoes, leisure shoes, day shoes and going out shoes. Total lined up and ready to go into the case.....20! I know, before you say anything, its too many. I found this out once putting them in and seeing that i had no room for anything else. Four hours later I've whittled the shoes down to 10 pairs and my case weights a little over 24 kg. When i say a little over, its verging onto 26 and I've still not packed pajamas. After talks with friends and housemates apparently all i need to take are 4 pairs of shoes, five max- this is coming from both men and woman. So what am i doing wrong. I painstakingly return to my suit case and eliminate two pairs. Bringing my total down to t...

Its been quite some time since I last wrote anything, but life's been quite uneventful.  Well there was Cannes Film festival last year, which was an experience; though I never found the time to sit down and share that with you.  Never the less, here I am, fingers to keys about to bark on what could be an adventure of a life time. And life changing....we'll soon see.  September I received a reasonable pay check and decided after two and a bit years of saying 'I'm going to go to America' I clicked onto the Virgin airline website and booked my ticket. That now done, it was set in stone that I would no longer be a 'sayer'. Its time to see what the land of opportunity has in store for me. But with two months to go, no excitement was there, what's the point of getting excited for something so far away.  Now with only 7 days to go, I'm feeling something. Nerves, my tummy turns with the thought I'm going away, alone for 4 weeks....that's a whole mont...

Far from ‘Bound’   I stood talking to Anthony David King (Photographer) at the preview night of ‘Photography Now’ at The Brick Lane Gallery. As I listened to his replies to my questions, I could not help but watch as his subject worked the room. Her Smile beaming up as she sat in her wheelchair, making sure that she greeted her guest and thanked visitors for their comments.     Anthony’s pieces that are on preview until 24 th February centre around Samona Naomi Williams, a young vibrant film director. Her energy fills the room on this particular night, but not every day is as glamorous as this. In 2009 she was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome III, a rare connective tissue disorder. Her symptoms include severe pain, excessive weakness and organ dysfunction. There is no known cure for this debilitating condition and symptoms are managed with a concoction of medication. The condition is known to worsen over time. What intrigued me was how they work...

Sometime events in life happen and for some reason or other they affect how you then go o in life. For me, I lost drive and finding motivation was hard to do in something that was a part of me. I hadn't given up, the passion was still there. I just didn't feel like doing it. I wasn't interested. But how long can this go on for? How do you get back on track? For me, it's gone on just under two years. Though it only seems like one. I guess when you lose someone time changes. You don't like to remember the days they have been gone for so you remember the days that they were here like yesterday, but your own life whizzes pass so fast like that. So here I am. Finally giving myself that shove that I need to do what I did before. To be the me that people see me as. To ignite that fire and passion that burns inside. During this bereavement time- or what I decided to call the other month. Early retirement. I've been planning, having ideas. Though not actively doing ...

Monologue 4: From the Outsider. Karen, late twenty’s. In this scene she is wearing food stained clothes, hair is a mess, but an attempt has been made to do it nicely - it looks unwashed, greasy. A little eye make- up is worn. Her friend Josie has come round to take her out. I look like shit? Thanks! How can you even say that? Have you ever lost someone? So how can you tell me you understand how I feel?! You've not got a clue, you can't even start to imagine of the pain that I feel. Ill tell you, but then you just pretend to care, or try to understand. For fucks sake, I don't want sympathy, I want to heal! I want to see his face, hear his voice; I'd give anything to touch him, to smell him. But this isn't going to happen, I won't see him ever again- only when I dream. They seem so real, yet as I start to wake I notice tears rolling down my face the vision of him fades and I try so hard to fall back into the deep sleep, back to my dream where life was how...

Monologue 3: Too Clever (unisex role) Classroom, pupil is sat in the middle. Doing some drawing or day dreaming with head down. Yes sir! ( Sits up at the desk) I have been listening... What did you say? ( Looks blankly) (Impersonates the teacher) Pages 32- 38 for homework, in for next lesson. Sir, I don’t want to come across as rude or disrespectful... but you just don’t interest me, I mean ( stutters) you bore me. (Mumbles) oh shit. It’s just that I’ve done all of this already in my old school. So it’s really just a waste of time...for me. This isn’t sounding too good, is it sir? Ok, maybe not a waste of time as now I know how much I actually know. (With a sense of pride) I’m confident in this subject, sir. (Smiles) .... (Confused) my behaviour? How’s that fair? I’, top of the class though Sir, top marks.... Oh, that. I didn’t mean to hurt him, my aim was just a lot better than I expected (chuckles slightly) But Sir, he ALWAYS gets nose bleeds, you can’t blame that on me. I know I thr...