So this is it...

Sometime events in life happen and for some reason or other they affect how you then go o in life. For me, I lost drive and finding motivation was hard to do in something that was a part of me. I hadn't given up, the passion was still there. I just didn't feel like doing it. I wasn't interested.
But how long can this go on for? How do you get back on track?
For me, it's gone on just under two years. Though it only seems like one. I guess when you lose someone time changes. You don't like to remember the days they have been gone for so you remember the days that they were here like yesterday, but your own life whizzes pass so fast like that.
So here I am. Finally giving myself that shove that I need to do what I did before. To be the me that people see me as. To ignite that fire and passion that burns inside.
During this bereavement time- or what I decided to call the other month. Early retirement. I've been planning, having ideas. Though not actively doing much about it, because the time didn't feel right.
Many say that it's all about timing, you can force this things to happen, but the best events happen naturally and 'at the rich time'.
I've spent many days staring into space, or curled up in bed, just doing absolutely nothing. Something I never did before Jan 2011.  I've spent some days trying to do my old routine after that date but felt like I was just going through the motions for the sake of 'keeping it together'. Until I decided, if I'm not feeling it, I'm just not going to do it. So I didn't. This isn't giving up, it's healing. If you break you leg you don't carry on dancing on it. You wait until the time comes for when you are strong enough to get up and continue. It won't be as easy as it was before, but you remember how and in time you'll be as strong as you were before or possibly even stronger.